015: King Edward Cigar

What is it? A King Edward cigar.

Pros: Like smoking but not taking it in. Makes user look cool whatever the circumstances. Red band can be kept on or removed. Plastic-wrapped for freshness. Easily stored in a coat pocket. Makes user look cool when removing it from pocket.

Cons: Like smoking but not taking it in. Only really cool if user bites it. Taking back smoke will result in lung haemorrhage. The whole cancer thing. Emasculating in that cigar is another thing that's better when bigger. Tastes average, undermining reason to smoke it.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 4/10. Cannot do in front of children as morally bankrupt.