020: Common Cold Plushie

What is it? A plushie depicting the common cold.

Pros: Blue is good colour for cold. Personifies a microbe as simply doing its job and not being especially vicious or spiteful. Furriness is nice. Cute eyes make owner almost want a cold. Five-prong layout is unconventional. Proof that Delaware has production facilities.

Cons: The common cold ought not to be trivialised. Not big enough to be cuddled. Cute eyes sometimes look sinister. When owner has cold, also has urge to burn item.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 6/10. Colourful for kids. Mixed reactions for adults. Sad for original owner.

019: Meccano Buggy

What is it? A buggy made from Meccano.

Pros: British engineering at finest. Proof that Meccano can be made easily enough. British racing green to reflect domestic production and driving prowess. Long-lasting vulcanised rubber wheels make for long-distance travel. Structurally sound. Carbon-neutral driving.

Cons: Missing a fourth washer for back strut; left out of packaging. Wheels don't turn. No pedals. Too big for Lego driver, too small for Playmobil/Lego Technic driver. No engine. Woefully out-of-proportion steering wheel.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 8/10. Reminding kids that older toys can still be kinda cool. Kinda.

018: Solar Powered Meerkats

What is it? Solar-powered meerkats.

Pros: Garden lighting in very different manner. One has learned to dress self. Carbon-neutral. Promotes family through adult and child set-up. Wind-resistant. On sale.

Cons: Allowed to supersede Super-Owl on the page. Meerkats look intensely sinister in both day and night. MRRP is clearly made-up term. 'Hand-painted' must mean 'badly-painted'. 'P+P' addition in small-print makes sale price slightly less tempting.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 10/10. If you know the person who made these, give then hugs and kisses and gifts.

017: Ikea Sparka Plus Football

What is it? Ikea's plush football, codename 'Sparka'.

Pros: Soft treat for kids. Blue and white are classic colour combination. Made in Indonesia, therefore stimulating the growing economy of an island nation. Pentagon/hexagon pattern maintains footballing credentials. Can be thrown really hard at person's face without too much retribution.

Cons: Cannot be used for regulation game of football. Tag is obscenely long and does not aid rolling motion needed for ball's purpose. 'Sparka' could denote 'fire' to young children; not good as it is intensely flammable. Draws light in photographs, making well-lit rooms look like caverns.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 9/10. "Dear Ikea. Can you please invest in stickers for goods? Your tags are f***ing ridiculous. Sincerely, the world."

016: Comedy Jester Hat

What is it? A comedic jester hat.

Pros: Patriotic in funny way for British, French, American and Icelandic people plus countless other races. Bells can help detection of wearer in low-sound areas. Can illicit feelings of zanyness and wackiness.

Cons: Worn once at League One Play-off Final of 2005 between Hartlepool United and Sheffield Wednesday, ending 2-4; owner was Hartlepool United fan. Not made for heads of 7-1/4" and below. Words 'wacky' and 'zany' can be interpreted as 'bellend' and 'twat' by others.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 6/10. Colourful for kids. Mixed reactions for adults. Sad for original owner.

015: King Edward Cigar

What is it? A King Edward cigar.

Pros: Like smoking but not taking it in. Makes user look cool whatever the circumstances. Red band can be kept on or removed. Plastic-wrapped for freshness. Easily stored in a coat pocket. Makes user look cool when removing it from pocket.

Cons: Like smoking but not taking it in. Only really cool if user bites it. Taking back smoke will result in lung haemorrhage. The whole cancer thing. Emasculating in that cigar is another thing that's better when bigger. Tastes average, undermining reason to smoke it.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 4/10. Cannot do in front of children as morally bankrupt.

014: Chopstick

What is it? A chopstick.

Pros: Easy to learn. Can be used to eat noodles. Colourful design makes most of small surface area. Good poking tool. Easy to wash. Stores well in upright containers. Makes owner look sophisticated if placed in cutlery drawer. Has lots of gravity/pain potential if thrown.

Cons: Better when there's two of them. Hard to master. Despite evidence to contrary, very bad with rice unless sticky. Eating any meal that is not Oriental makes holder look pretentious. Can be mistaken for linguine. Design is overdone and not unique. English eyes take nothing from inscription's meaning. Fork and knife better.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 2/10. You've seen it all before. They're free.

013: Haribo Snake

What is it? A gummi snake created by Haribo.

Pros: OMGZZZZZ it's so tasty. Colour transition almost flawless. Looks quite like a snake, so no lies or contradiction of trading standards. Foam underbelly adds soft element to main chewy offering. Can be used effectively as whip. Will not be lost in rave. Sugar high that lasts a century. You bite it, it does not bite you.

Cons: Like real snakes, susceptible to fire. Teeth cry in pain when presented with sugary demon. Orange does not go with green. It just doesn't. Feeling of guilt if eating snake tail-first, should it have feelings.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 1/10. As you can see, you don't need to point to it. You can see it from miles away.