006: Philips Nose Hair Trimmer

What is it? A Philips-brand nose hair trimmer.

Pros: Looks like a quadriplegic robot emperor penguin. Able to precisely remove hairs in the nasal cavity without causing more fuss than a tingling sensation. Can trim other body hairs with little fuss. Orange casing alerts user of any possible danger. Made by a trustworthy Dutch brand. Back has patterned rubber skin to ensure grip is maintained through trimming process. Only takes one AA battery. Waterproof. Plastic cap stops children from killing themselves with it. Cap also resembles transparent Smurf hat. Easily fits in toothbrush-holding home utility or travel bag. Shows that nasal hairs are important enough to demand specialised gadget.

Cons: Nasal hairs should not need a specialised gadget at any price. Does not cut hairs, instead shredding them. Owner will never be able to tell you how they got it because they will not have bought it. Looks too much like sexual aid and vibrates enough to sustain said notion. Encourages sneezing. User will always be frightened that nose is no place for sharp and fast-moving blades.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 7/10. Looks too much like an endangered flightless bird to dislike or ignore.

005: Dental Stick

What is it? A dental stick.

Pros: Things that are stuck in your teeth are handily removed. Rounded, ergonomic design allows for more aerodynamic oral movements. Can be used in combination with other dental sticks, plus a lot of spare time, to create a model of anything you want. Makes you look cool if you let one dangle passively from your mouth. Regularly called in as the cavalry in situations when electronics need resetting and that screwdriver you have somewhere in the second drawer is just that bit too big. Provides an extra step insuring that safety matches could be even safer without any possibility of ignition. Allows the pointer to study the definition of their fingerprint when photo is taken. Could make a bridge for ants.

Cons: Calling itself a dental stick is above its station, as if 'toothpick' is preserve of proletariat. If not using Nordic birch (unlike the above), it could splinter, resulting in both food staying in the mouth and the opening of a wound that said foodstuff could infect. Creating a model with many dental sticks only serves as proof of loneliness. Pointy nature makes it a danger to eyes. When alongside its friends in a box, a nightmare to pick up when you inevitably drop them.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 2/10. Given this item is often bought in a fraternity of tiny wooden chums, this item seems insignificant when singled out. Not a good way to waste wood.

001: Right Guard Roll-On Anti-Perspirant

What is it? Right Guard Roll-On Anti-Perspirant.

Pros: Bought from Home Bargains for 79p. Able to stop profuse sweating. Small and compact size makes it ideal for travelling. High-density plastic makes it a solid projectile when faced with a hostile situation. Agreeable scent. Roll-on nature means other people will be less likely to borrow it for their own materialistic gains.

Cons: Item was clearly sold in Home Bargains due to its inability to regulate amount of anti-perspirant applied; copious liquid therefore makes you look like you're sweating after application. 3D Protection means nothing, unless living in three directional dimensions is something people are meant to be happy about. Does not last 24 hours, unless you plan not to shower or do nothing that can result in sweating. Unlike spray-on deodorant, it cannot be used in tandem with fire as a flamethrower against friends, relatives, pets or zombie hordes.

Worthiness of pointing motion: 6/10. While this product is relatively good value for money, it illustrates that being cheap can affect your personal hygiene and result in creamy, scented armpits. Not as useful a weapon as it could be.